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Category: spiritual

The spiritual realm. Matters of faith, belief, and philosophy

  • Committed to Grace

    I noted in my post about church essentials that God’s love and grace is the heart of a healthy church. Churches centered on God’s love presence invite members to be gracious, humble, welcoming and compassionate. Ironically, as churches get serious about following their Lord, something often goes wrong.  While a church continue to talk about “grace” and to teach and proclaim “the gospel”, their conduct and attitudes seem more like the Pharisees than Jesus.  The people become “religious” and are often characterized by legalism, pride, exclusion, and judgement. The question I have been wresting with is how does one encourage people to be committed to following the way of Jesus, without becoming religious.

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    On an individual level the secret to being committed and grace filled is keeping in mind what we are committed to, or should I say “who”… Jesus. The “commitment” is to have a vital relationship with our Lord. If we are moment by moment in communion with our Lord, if we are seeing the world through His eyes, we will slowly be more or more like our Lord. We will become more and more like Him, and start to do the things He would do if he was in our context. Of course this is easy to say, and hard to live out.

    Man’s original and repeated sin is to be independent, to say “I have got this”. The more mature we think we are, the more practices and systems we devise, the more we are inclined to just go out and “do it” rather than to be in close communion with our Lord. We rely on our experience, knowledge, and wisdom. The people I have met who seem most transformed by Jesus see themselves and beginners, expecting to regularly need correction. A friend wisely told me “The sign of maturity is not the lack of sin because in this life you will never be free of sin, but how quickly you return to the throne of grace”

    Christian communities form as people respond to God’s amazing love and join together in celebration and worship. As members mature they look for ways to encourage each other. Having a set of shared vision with common values and practices is immensely powerful. Together these lead to group identity. As is often noted: individual choices < habits < identity

    Communities implicitly if not explicitly select a shared set of practices which makes them distinct. Typically these are traits of the most respected members of the community. Sometimes it’s the result of careful examination leading to something the book Practicing the Way describes as a rule of life.

    These practices can be good, worthy of engaging in… but they can often turn into a religious activity that produces exactly the opposite of what our Lord would desire. The question is how can we purposely pursue life with our Lord as a community without falling into this trap?

    Some ideas that have bouncing around in my head but I haven’t been able to turn them into a clean and concise post:

    • Everyone is welcome. No conditions or expectations on people. Response to people in curiosity and welcome.
    • Timing is in God’s hand. People are never rushed or pushed. It’s ok to challenge people but never demand or be conditional.
    • Commitment is to follow Jesus, not to do what the community wants
    • Community trusts God to provide… don’t need to pressure people to keep their commitments
    • God reveals Himself to everyone. Everyone has something to share (Parker Palmer model of knowing)
    • Goal is God being magnified… people seeing his love and beauty, not our church growing (though it will typically grow when God is at the center).
    • Seasons… things change, it’s ok if one thing ends because God is starting new things elsewhere
    • Anytime you have a goal and you are measuring KPI, always ask how can that lean in a wrong direction and measure those unintended consequences to know when you are off track.

    I really wanted to post something about this topic. Since my thoughts are still jumbled I decided to cheat. Here are a series of interactions with chat-gpt. In the future I hope my thoughts will become clear and concise enough to remove the chat-gpt text and replace it with what I write. Section headings are my prompts. Subheadings and text from chat-gpt.

    How did the early church avoid become religious (like Pharisees) as they instituted a rule of life

    You’re touching on something profoundly human and spiritually difficult: how to build something beautiful and focused without becoming proud, insular, or unwelcoming. Here’s a way to think about it, rooted in the wisdom of the Desert Fathers, early church, and practical spiritual leadership:

    Hold the Mission with Clarity, and the People with Gentleness

    A healthy mission needs people who are all-in. But that clarity of mission must be paired with a generosity of spirit. The tension is real—but it’s also sacred.

    “If you want to gather honey, don’t kick over the beehive.” – Dale Carnegie (surprisingly relevant here)

    Invite people into belonging before demanding full commitment. Let them taste the beauty of the community and the mission before they take on its full weight.

    Create “Inner Rings” Without Walls

    Instead of “in” vs. “out,” think of layers:

    • The core: those who are fully committed to the rule, rhythm, and mission.
    • The engaged: those exploring, showing up, trying to understand.
    • The curious: drawn but not yet involved.

    The early church did this naturally. Catechumens were people on the way to baptism, fully welcomed in love, but not yet in full sacramental communion. They weren’t judged for it. They were treasured.

    The goal isn’t to lower the bar for commitment—it’s to extend the invitation without pressure.

    Model Vulnerability, Not Superiority

    Pride kills community. But humility opens doors.

    If leaders and core members regularly speak of their own weakness, struggles, and need for grace, it creates an atmosphere where no one feels like they have to “be ready” to belong.

    “Come as you are” only works if those inside admit who they really are too.

    This is what the Desert Fathers did—they never pretended to be holy. They called themselves beginners even after decades.

    Give Space for Slow Conversion

    Jesus didn’t demand everything at once. He walked with people. He let them linger. Even his own disciples took years to understand what he was doing.

    In any mission-driven community, some will need time. Invite them to:

    • Participate in life-giving rhythms (meals, prayer, service)
    • Be loved before being tasked
    • Share voice before making vows

    Rule without relationship leads to rebellion.

    Relationship without rule leads to confusion.

    But relationship with time to grow into the rule? That’s formation.

    See Readiness as a Mystery, Not a Measurement

    Who is “ready” is rarely obvious. Often the loudest, most zealous ones fall away. The quiet, hesitant ones become the faithful core.

    So a wise community:

    • Listens more than it evaluates
    • Prays more than it pressures
    • Walks alongside rather than dragging or excluding

    Think garden, not factory. Let people grow. Water them with presence, patience, and purpose.

    How to Engage in Practices that lead to humble and committed members?

    Here’s a framework you can adapt to your mission-driven community—whether it’s spiritual, creative, justice-focused, or otherwise. The goal: form a community with clear commitment, open doors, and gentle pathways in.

    The Table: Radical Welcome

    Posture: Come and see

    Who it’s for: The curious, exploring, unsure

    Practices:

    • Open gatherings, meals, storytelling
    • No expectations, just invitation
    • Focus on hospitality, beauty, and non-coercive presence

    Message:  “You belong here even before you believe or commit.”

    Desert wisdom echo: The monks welcomed all visitors as Christ. Even those who were skeptical or sinners.

    The Hearth: Shared Life

    Posture: Come and be known

    Who it’s for: Interested and relationally invested

    Practices:

    • Shared practices (simple prayer rhythms, meals, serving)
    • Gentle exposure to the rule of life
    • Safe spaces for questions and real conversation
    • No pressure, just proximity

    Message:  “You matter. Your story matters. Let’s walk together awhile.”

    Why this matters: This is where the seed of commitment starts to grow. Think belonging before believing, believing before behaving.

    The Workshop: Gentle Practice

    Posture: Come and be shaped

    Who it’s for: Ready to grow, but still forming

    Practices:

    • Intro-level commitments (partial rule, spiritual guidance, regular rhythm)
    • Shared projects that matter
    • Mentoring, not managing
    • Failures treated as normal and expected

    Message:  “You don’t have to be perfect—just willing.”

    This is like a catechumenate. It’s where the rule of life becomes invitation, not obligation.

    The Circle: Covenant Community

    Posture: Come and commit

    Who it’s for: Those who’ve discerned a call to shared life and responsibility

    Practices:

    • Full rule of life
    • Mutual accountability (gracious, not rigid)
    • Discernment in community
    • Roles of leadership or stewardship

    Message:  “We’re in this for the long haul. Let’s bear the weight together.”

    Important: This isn’t exclusive—it’s simply mature. It exists so the community can last, deepen, and bless others. These are your culture-keepers.

    The Door: Permeable Movement

    At any point, people should be free to move inward or outward through the circles—without shame.

    • Someone may step back for a season of rest or grief.
    • Another might move inward slowly, or jump forward when grace hits.
    • Honor everyone’s pace.

    The key: Clarity without pressure. Invitation without judgment.

    How do good practices lead to a community that is characterized by legalism, pride, exclusion, and judgement?

    This is one of the most important (and heartbreaking) dynamics in spiritual community—and it’s happened over and over again throughout history:

    A community starts with vision, devotion, and simplicity,

    and over time becomes marked by legalism, pride, and exclusion.

    Here’s how and why that shift tends to happen.

    What Begins as a Tool Becomes an Idol

    The rule of life starts as a trellis to help people grow—prayer rhythms, fasting, silence, shared labor. It’s flexible and pastoral.

    But over time, the form can become more important than the fruit. The practices are mistaken for proof of holiness.

    “The Sabbath was made for man, not man for the Sabbath.” — Jesus (Mark 2:27)

    How it happens:

    • Practices become identity markers.
    • People forget why the rule was created in the first place.
    • The rule gets used to measure others, not humble oneself.

    Stability Becomes Rigidity

    Early communities are often dynamic, humble, experimental. But as they grow or institutionalize, they fear losing control. So they tighten the rule.

    How it happens:

    • Structure becomes survival.
    • Leaders react to failure or disorder by doubling down on rules.
    • Adaptability is replaced with gatekeeping.

    “We must protect the mission” becomes a reason to exclude the slow, messy, or broken.

    Commitment Gets Confused with Superiority

    People who have made serious sacrifices naturally feel invested. But without deep humility, that commitment can morph into pride.

    “I fast twice a week and give a tenth of all I get…” — The Pharisee (Luke 18:12)

    How it happens:

    • The deeply committed forget their own journey.
    • Newcomers are seen as threats or lesser.
    • Instead of inviting, people begin filtering.

    The Fear of Losing “Purity”

    This is a huge one. When a community tastes something beautiful—deep prayer, intimacy with God, close fellowship—there’s often a fear of losing it.

    So what do we do? Build walls. Protect the vibe. Keep “impure” elements out.

    How it happens:

    • Exclusion is framed as “faithfulness.”
    • Difference is seen as danger.
    • Mercy is sacrificed for the sake of “doctrinal” or “cultural” purity.

    Ironically, in trying to preserve the soul of the community, we can kill it.

    Judgment Easier Than Compassion

    When people fall short of the rule—or resist it—it’s easier to judge than to walk with them. Especially when compassion is costly.

    “Why does your teacher eat with tax collectors and sinners?” — The Pharisees (Matthew 9:11)

    How it happens:

    • Rules provide clarity; people are complex.
    • Judging gives a sense of control.
    • Compassion feels inefficient and emotionally exhausting.

    So the “righteous” push the wounded out instead of binding their wounds.

    Summary: A Tragic Drift

    What Starts As…Eventually Becomes…
    A shared rhythm for growthA rigid code for measuring worth
    Commitment to ChristCommitment to community culture
    Loving correctionCold judgment
    Invitation to healingExclusion for imperfection
    Humble sacrificeSpiritual pride

    So, how do we resist this?

    A few enduring practices from the Desert Fathers and others:

    1. Practice daily humility – Confess weakness, not achievement.
    2. Center mercy over rule – Let love guide enforcement.
    3. Adapt the rule to the weak – Just like Jesus did.
    4. Keep telling the origin story – Remember why you began.
    5. Place relationship before regulation – Always.

    What are warning signs that a community is drifting into legalism?

    Think of these like spiritual “check engine lights.” If you see a few of these, it’s time to pause, reflect, and gently course-correct.

    The Rule Becomes the Point

    • People talk more about keeping the practices than why they exist.
    • The original heart (prayer, presence, humility, love) gets lost in talk of “structure” and “discipline.”

    🧠 “We fast on Wednesdays and Fridays.”
    ❤️ “We fast to hunger for God and stand with the poor.

    Flexibility Is Viewed as Compromise

    • Mercy, nuance, and pastoral flexibility are seen as weakness.
    • People fear “watering things down” more than they fear becoming harsh.

    If someone suggests adapting the rule for the wounded or new, the response is:

    “That’s not how we do things here.”

    Spiritual Hierarchies Emerge

    • Those who follow the rule most visibly are subtly (or overtly) elevated.
    • People who struggle feel like second-class citizens—or leave quietly.

    The rule is no longer a trellis; it’s a pedestal.

    Correction Lacks Compassion

    • Confrontation becomes sharp, cold, or public.
    • There’s little space to confess weakness without fear.
    • Accountability feels more like policing than shepherding.

    “We need to protect the standard.”

    becomes a cover for shaming those who fail.

    Judgment Replaces Joy

    • People become more focused on who’s “doing it wrong” than on celebrating what’s good.
    • Critique becomes the dominant mode of communication.
    • Laughter, warmth, and hospitality decrease.

    Legalism kills joy—it replaces gratitude with performance anxiety.

    Insiders Stop Noticing Outsiders

    • There’s little awareness or care for people not yet “inside” the rhythm or culture.
    • Language becomes insider-heavy and unintentionally alienating.
    • The door is still open—but no one’s really holding it.

    “They just don’t get it,” instead of “How can we help them feel welcome and seen?”

    Failure is Seen as a Threat, Not a Grace

    • There’s no space for people to be messy, slow, or inconsistent.
    • Struggles are seen as dangerous, not sacred.
    • The community forgets how much grace they once received.

    The focus shifts from formation to filtering.

    A Healthy Rule of Life Should Always Feel Like:

    • A path, not a pedestal
    • A gift, not a gate
    • A support, not a scoreboard
    • A tutor, not a tyrant
    • A shared meal, not a spiritual test

  • Change the World? Love > Rule

    Jesus never built an empire. He healed the broken, welcomed the outcast, confronted the powerful, and loved the world—without trying to rule it.

    The church as been it’s best when following Jesus’ example. The church has been its worst when it has followed worldly wisdom to accomplish its goals. The contrast couldn’t be more obvious:

    • Cared for the marginalize rather than seeking wealth and power for itself.
    • Engaged in acts of service rather than seeking military, legislative, or economic power to bring about change.
    • Honoring each person’s freedom to believe, inviting people to follow rather than using coercion to bring others into compliance.
    • Treated everyone as a neighbor worthy of love, not being intolerant and establishing an us -vs- them dynamic.

    The Temptation to Rule

    The Son of Man came not to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many. — Mark 10:45

    The desire for control isn’t new temptation for the christians. Jesus’ disciples argued about who would be the greatest (Luke 22:24–27). They expected Jesus to take political power—but he refused it, choosing the cross over the throne.

    The church often slips into power-seeking, confusing dominance with faithfulness which has diluted the church’s witness. Tom Holland’s book Dominion documents several of these moments through history.  To call out a few:

    • Constantine’s conversion (AD 312) gave Christians legal status, which ended persecution—but within decades, the church became entangled with empire.
    • The Crusades (11th–13th centuries) were born from a belief that God’s kingdom could be advanced by force, causing massive harm.
    • The Spanish Inquisition (1478–1834) Under the guise of protecting orthodoxy, the Catholic Church—especially in Spain—used torture, coercion, and execution to force conversions and root out heresy. This abuse of spiritual authority in partnership with the monarchy became a terrifying symbol of religious control.
    • State Churches in Europe After the Reformation, many Protestant nations established state churches (e.g., Church of England, Lutheran state churches in Scandinavia), where citizenship and church membership were linked. This often led to forced baptisms, religious conformity, and persecution of dissenters—blending national identity with Christian faith in a way that eroded both.
    • In the colonial era, missionary efforts were too often fused with conquest, leading to cultural erasure and exploitation.

    Tim Alberta’s book  The Kingdom, The Power, and The Glory describes how the modern evangelical church has made the same error.

    What Real Change Looks Like

    He has anointed me to proclaim good news to the poor… — Luke 4:18

    Jesus changed the world without armies or policies. He loved people. Told stories. Restored dignity. He lifted the lowly and called the powerful to repentance.

    The early church followed his way:

    • In Acts 2–4, believers shared everything in common, ensuring no one was in need.
    • The early church cared for widows and orphans, risking their lives during plagues to tend to the sick—often when even pagan physicians fled.
    • Their radical love and nonviolence led Tertullian to write: “See how they love one another!”

    In three centuries, the followers of Jesus went from a persecuted minority to a dominion force. What is truly striking is not its rise to power, but how it radically transformed cultural norms. This was not accomplished by instituting policies but by their example. Before the christians came onto the scene, greek and roman culture didn’t have the concept of caring for the marginalized or recognizing inherent human rights. These ideas, now taken for granted, were revolutionary—and rooted in Jesus’ example.

    Real change comes not through legislation, conquest or empires, but through acts of love and faithfulness, from compassion.

    Love Over Leverage

    God’s kindness leads us to repentance. — Romans 2:4
    Let all that you do be done in love. — 1 Corinthians 16:14
    Let your light shine… that they may see your good deeds. — Matthew 5:16

    Power pressures and manipulates. Love transforms. Jesus loved people before demanding change. Jesus didn’t coerce belief. He invited people into truth. He loved before they repented (Luke 19:1–10). He offered healing before demanding loyalty. Leverage might win a battle—but love wins hearts.

    The most powerful message is a life of quiet, consistent service.  A few examples of people whose lives illustrate this:

    • St. Francis of Assisi gave up wealth to live among the poor, care for lepers, and embody the simplicity and peace of Christ
    • Elizabeth Fry who reformed prison conditions in England through consistent, compassionate presence.
    • George Müller cared for thousands of orphans in England through prayer, faith, and quiet perseverance—never asking directly for funds.
    • Mother Teresa built trust and influence by simply serving the most forgotten.
    • Dorothy Day practiced gospel-centered hospitality among the poor during the Great Depression
    • John Perkins who worked for reconciliation, education, and racial justice

    A Different Kind of Influence

    Do not conform… but be transformed. — Romans 12:2
    Act justly, love mercy, and walk humbly.— Micah 6

    We’re not called to rule the world. We’re called to love it—faithfully, humbly, and fearlessly.  That’s how we really change it. Christians are called to reflect a kingdom not of this world. The church doesn’t need more power. It needs more presence.

    • Be a creative minority — distinct, faithful, hopeful
    • Invest locally — serve neighbors, build trust
    • Influence by embodied example, not loud opinion 

    Related

  • Seeing People

    How we see people has a huge impact on how we interact with them. If you expect the worst from someone, that’s what you will see and you will be tempted to treat them with contempt. If you expect the best of someone, you will tend to engage with empathy and connections.

    This post was prompted by a conversation with a good friend this morning. He was feeling drained from conversations with hateful people, and honestly, I understood. I’ve felt that same fatigue and frustration. But instead of offering him the empathy he needed, I jumped too quickly to a “solution.” Still, beneath my response, I believe there is a truth that has the power to transform how we experience others.

    We were made in the image of God. Then we turned away from Him—breaking His heart, our own character, and the world around us. And yet, even in the brokenness, remnants of that original beauty remain.

    A cracked mirror still reflects. In the same way, flawed people still reflect the glory of God. My dear friend Lynne Fox often reminds me that there is no such thing as pure evil—only the corruption of something originally good. When we learn to recognize that glimmer of God’s image in others—the divine spark, if you will—it changes everything. I believe this is one of the great secrets to truly living into the Kingdom of God, this enables people to experience the Camino spirit.

    Jesus saw the fractured reflection of God in people. You can see it in his compassion, in how he responded to the broken, the outcast, the sinner. He saw what they could be, not just what they were.

    Many great spiritual leaders have shared this way of seeing. Mother Teresa, inspired by Matthew 25:40, wrote:

    We try to pray through our work by doing it with Jesus, for Jesus, to Jesus. That’s why we are able to see Him in the broken body, in the abandoned child, in the hungry man. Each one of them is Jesus in disguise.

    C.S. Lewis explored this idea in The Weight of Glory. Thomas Merton reportedly experienced a moment of clarity in which he saw people in their true, radiant dignity. The book Abandon to God recounts how Oswald Chambers had an extraordinary ability to be fully present with others—I wonder if that was because he saw God in each person, recognizing that God was right there in the moment.

    I have found that when I intentionally look for God’s image in people, I can find it. And when I do, my interactions shift. Conversations become richer, relationships more meaningful. But if I’m not looking for the good, it’s all too easy to focus on flaws, to be irritated, disappointed, or even cynical.

    I know I’m only scratching the surface here, and I want to explore this further. But even if this thought is incomplete, it feels too important to delay sharing.

    Related

  • Wealth

    Most people in the developed world have no idea how wealthy we are when compared to the sweep of human history. Even when people know this, it’s easy to take what we have for granted, and to forget to be thankful for the lives we are able to lead. I oscillated between feeling deep gratitude and contentment for my life situation, worrying about whether I will be able to maintain what I have as the world changes around me, and occasionally feeling dissatisfied with what I have and desiring more?! I wrote this post as a reminder to myself, I hope it might be useful to others as well.

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    By all measures I am wealthy. I worked hard for what I have, but I recognized that grace (some might say luck) has played a substantial role in where I am today. I know that I have won the geographic, genetic, and “era” lotteries. I strive to keep perspective. One thing I have found helpful is to engage in the practices of gratitude and generosity. These help keep me grounded and reduces my tendency to let my wealth draw me away from dependence on God. It is said that we often value the gifts we receive more than the giver, who is the real prize. I often fall into this mindset, and then I wake up and realize nothing better than when I clearly see, feel, and experience God’s uncoditional love. Life is best when God’s love fills my heart and drives my life.

    What is Wealth?

    First, I would like to draw a distinction between “rich” and “wealth”. The term “rich” is typically focused on  income and consumption.

    Wealth is a holistic term. Salih Bloom in the book The 5 Types of Wealth: A Transformative Guide to Design Your Dream Life  notes while most people equate wealth with their financial state, there are four other ways we can be “wealthy”

    • Financial: Not lacking material needs
    • Time: Spend time on what we desire.
    • Social: Engage with people and activities as we desire.
    • Mental: Not pressed down by trauma or fear.
    • Physical (Health): Robust health and access to treatments when facing injury or disease.

    There is no universal definition of what it means to be “wealthy” because the concept is highly subjective and circumstantial, and shaped by cultural, social, and personal factors.  It is possible to talk objectively about someone’s relative wealth, but most people experience wealth subjectively. For these people, wealth may be best defined not by how much they have, but by how much they feel is enough to live the life they desire.

    Compared to What?

    Most people who are wealthy when compared to the majority of humanity don’t consider themselves wealthy. This is because people make comparisons to their “normal” experience.  Much of the time people interact with people who are of similar economic class, so they think of themselves as just average. Second, almost everyone knows someone who has more than they do.  Those are the wealthy people.

    For example, the average salary for a successful software engineer in the Bay Area puts them in the top 1% of the world, 10% in US, 20% in the Bay Area.  But they are making around the same as their coworkers, and  they know celebrated engineers who make three times what they earn each year. They find several of their desires, like purchases a home, out of reach, so they don’t think of themselves as wealthy.

    Era of Wealth

    Extreme poverty, which is experienced by 10% of the current world, was experienced by nearly 80% of the people living in the 1700s!

    The opportunity and material wealth in the 20th and 21st centuries is like nothing man had previously experienced.  People who today are above the worldwide lowest 25% have better lives than the rich a few centuries ago.

    A “middle class life” in the current world, what many people in the US would be considered being at the poverty line, is largely superior to what royalty experienced in the 1700s. We have climate controlled buildings, health care, a huge variety of food and goods of a quality and nature that couldn’t be imagined two hundred years ago. In many countries we have a rule of law so you don’t have to worry that just because someone has more power than you, that they are free to take whatever they want. The ability to travel vast distances safely in hours which enables us to have incredible experiences.

    For more details see the article we live like royalty and don’t know it, which is part of what I hope will be an excellent series How the System Works.

    Geography of Wealth

    The following is mostly for people in “the west”:  US, Canada, Europe.  We have won the geographical lottery. Being a citizen in our country virtually gaurentees that we are well off compare to most people in the world.

    • In the US an income of 35k (which is 90% of the residences of the USA) puts us in the top 10% world wide.
    • An income of 60k, which is what 35% of the US, puts someone in the top 1% of the modern world.
    • An income of 500k puts someone in the top 1% of the US
    • An income of $1M puts someone in the top 1% of the Bay Area.

    Damage of “Comparision” Fueled by Media

    I mark the airing of the TV show Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous hosted  a major turning point. It has been estimated that up to a billion people have been exposed to the shows content: ostentatious spending.

    People who used to consider themselves rich were exposed to extreme wealth for the first time. Envy started to creep in.  This has become even more of a problem with the advent of social media. People who use social media are bombarded with images of people with more than they have… or at least look like they have more. People curate their feeds to highlight their peaks, if not using generative AI to provide a completely false picture.

    I have heard numerous antidotal stories about how access to mass and/or social media moved whole communities from being generally happy and content to unhappy an discontent.

    What We Have is a Gift

    I often hear very successful people tell stories about they are responsible for their success. That they worked harder and smarter than other people. Whether or not this is true, their success also came from “luck” or “grace”. In almost all cases these people had advantages that they take for granted. One has to ask if they were an orphan, born in Sub-Saharan Africa, could they have possible accomplished what they did. Typically the answer is “No”.

    It’s worth remembering the observation “For who sees anything different in you? What do you have that you did not receive? If then you received it, why do you boast as if you did not receive it?”  – 1 Cor 4:7 (ESV)

    I believe the apostle Paul expressed the attitude of contentment that we should strive to adopt

    But godliness with contentment is great gain. For we brought nothing into the world, and we can take nothing out of it. But if we have food and clothing, we will be content with that. – 1 Timothy 6:6-8 (NIV)

    I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do all this through him who gives me strength. – Philippians 4:11-13 (NIV)

    True Wealth

    Blessed are you who are poor, for yours is the kingdom of God — Luke 12:32

    Why did Jesus say this? Poverty is in no way “noble”.   Deprivation is not good. The answer can be found in Proverbs 30:8-9

    Keep falsehood and lies far from me; give me neither poverty nor riches, but give me only my daily bread. Otherwise, I may have too much and disown you and say, ‘Who is the Lord?’ Or I may become poor and steal, and so dishonor the name of my God.

    As we accumulate wealth, it becomes easier and easier to “take care of ourselves”. As we do this, we trust in what we have accumulated. Our security comes from our wealth. Wealth often corrupts character as people feel empowered to go the way they want to rather than seeking God.

    Psalms 23 describes how God desires to richly bless us, but we often don’t see what He is doing or believe that He is caring for us. Rather we make our own way and in doing that, settle for what’s second best, a counterfeit of God’s true blessing.

    A Challenging Example

    Years ago I read the biography of George Müller (1805–1898). George had an abiding trust in God and prayer.  He felt called by God to care of orphans. He founded The Ashley Down Orphanage in Bristol, England which cared for over 10,000 orphans during his lifetime. What was remarkable was he never solicited funds but relied entirely on prayer. Needs were met through unsolicited donations, often arriving at the last possible moment. Müller had an extraordinary faith in God’s provision.  Every day he was looking for God to show up, and God did.

    Other People’s Thoughts

  • Church Essentials

    The book Dominion traces the very mixed history of the Christian church through history. When the church emphasized caring for the marginalized, humble service, and freedom for the individual it has been a force for good. When the Church cared more about its institution than the people, removed people’s freedoms through authoritarian decrees, and worst, when it pursued political power, things went very badly. This is my attempt to identify the most essential factors people should keep in mind when thinking about church. Summarizing what I have learned about “church” over the last forty five years is like trying to tame a hydra… as soon one head (topic) is addressed, two more pop up. 

    TL;DR

    • Church is not optional: You aren’t going to find a perfect church, but get involved in a church that allows you to build a community of love and draws you closer to God.
    • God and his grace is the heart: The start, end, and middle of the church is God’s amazing love, His grace toward us. It’s God who initiates, and we respond. A great tempted of humans is to go our own way, to try and be self sufficient. It’s so tempting to become religious and judgement. We need to resist this.
    • God is the head, not human leaders: Don’t let human created rules, programs, initiative, etc step on people. Leave room for the Spirit to lead and grant individual freedom to respond to what God is calling them to. When a church becomes authoritarian and/or pursues power: especially political or economic power, things go badly.
    • Everyone is important: The church is to function like our body, each person has a unique and valuable role to play. All gifting is important. Everyone should have a way to contribute to the church, not just “clergy” / “staff”. No one should be marginalized. People who have been marginalized by society should be embraces and supported by the church.
    • Love is the measure: Put simply by Jesus: the world will know we are His followers if we are loving each other. The mark of a Christian, and the mark of a healthy church is one that is characterized by love and care.

    Church isn’t Optional for Christians

    I know many people today who have become disappointed with institutional churches. They see originizations driven by humans who hunger after power, money, sex, and/or fame. A place that uses fear to control people rather than love to empower.

    This is tragic… but Jesus doesn’t want us to give up. In John 13 He said the world will know we are His by the love we have for each other. The author of Hebrews urges us not to abandon the gathering together.

    Don’t give up. Find a local church you can be part of. The question I would encourage everyone to asks is  “What church is God calling me to in this season of life”? Don’t be constrained by things like denominational alignment, narrow theological orthodoxy, or a particular worship style.

    God and Grace are the Heart

    I am working on a separate post on this so just a quick note for now. God is the one who initiated our relationship with Him. We experience life because of His love and grace. He asks us to extend His grace to others. Since everything we have has been a gift from God, we have no room to be proud or judgmental. Ironically, and people become more serious about grace, they have a tendency to become religious, proud, and judgement. This can only be avoided by continuously engaging with God in our daily life. To seek to see the world through His eyes.

    God is the Head

    Too often members of a church, especially the leaders, forget that the church is God’s. It doesn’t matter what we want, what we think is best. The questions are:

    • What is important to God?
    • What does God want us to do?

    I have seen numerous churches lock in on a very particular theology, methodology, or program, and insist that this is “the way” to believe, to act, or orginize. Everyone is expected to “fit in”. While this can produce a very “efficent” and “effective” orginization… this is not God’s recipe.  It’s ours.

    Likewise, when a church become authoritarian, tries to impose it’s will into the lives of people, things will end badly… not matter how “good” what they are advocating is.

    Several things which help us live into the truth that God is the head of the church:

    1. Focus your attention and worship of God. Fall in love with, be amazed by God’s wonderous nature. Look to please Him, no one else.
    2. Major in the Majors.  Simply put, recogize what’s important to God and focus on those things, not on human created orthodoxy.   Learn the most important lesson from the parable of the prodigal son.
    3. Leave room for the Spirit to work. Grant people freedom to follow after how God is leading them. Don’t use a one size fits all program, system, etc. People who are living this way will exhibit humility. Those to are driven my their self will be arrogant.
    4. Remember that God’s law is written on our hearts. Cultivate a practice of seeking God, not of pleasing others. Be open to God’s leading.

    Everyone is Important

    I Cor 12, 14, and Ephesians 4 makes it very clear that the church is strongest when every person uses the gifting God has granted them to love and serve others. Leaders’ job is to equip and encourage every person to live into God’s calling, not to do all the “work” themselves, or to tell everyone else what to do. Likewise, we need to value everyone. There are people who are marginalized by society. They should be embraced by the church.

    There are several practical applications for this.

    • There need to be meetings / gatherings that are small enough that everyone can contribute using their gifting.  See notes about group size.
    • People who are marginalized should be embraced, welcomed, given a prominent spot “at the table”.
    • Significant roles must be availible to people who aren’t “on staff” or “clergy”.
    • The church leadership needs to value all gifts and roles in the church. Too often I have seen churches that placed excessive emphasis on numerical growth and focus on leadership gifts to the exclussion of the other gifts. Other church emphasis “power” gifts or speaking in tongues, even though Paul pointed out that there is no gift that everyone has.
    • The church needs to recognize that God gifts people, and calls them to service. There need to be opportunities for “grassroot” initiatives from people who aren’t “leaders”.

    The book The Spontaneous Expansion of the Church by Roland Allen looks at the growth of the early church. Roland argues that the church doesn’t need complex structures and systems to be effective. Rather the church needs to free its members to follow after God. Too often, church leadership trying to control what is happening and how it’s happening. This is a mistake. The church is a group of people who are together, trying to follow after God and responding to what they are learning. The work of George Patternson and others has applied this lesson to the mission field. I think the out of print book The Church Unleashed by Frank Tillapaugh did a great job explaining what this might look like in a “modern” church in America.

    Love is the Measure

    Put simply by Jesus: the world will know we are His followers if we are loving each other. The market of a Christian, and the mark of a healthy church is one that is characterized by love and care. This means loving each other and finding true unity through that love. This is a theme well explored in Francis Schaeffer’s short book The Mark of the Christian and is discussed in the book A Church Called TOV.

    If we care more about a narrow doctrine, a particular political or social issue to the point that we are hurting people, we are lost.

    I think one of the most telling things about a church is who feels comfortable attending. Is the church attracting people who are similar to the people who gathered around Jesus, or is the church gathering people who opposed Jesus such as the Pharisees.

    so that through the church the manifold wisdom of God might now be made known to the rulers and authorities in the heavenly places. This was according to the eternal purpose that he has realized in Christ Jesus our Lord. – Ephesians 3:10-11 (ESV)

  • Love > Orthodoxy

    Deep truth transience the human ability systemize knowledge. God’s Spirit cannot be can’t be fully captured by human constructed theological assertions and orthodox creeds. I appreciate why people want to be sure their faith to rooted in the truth. Orthodox creeds provide comfort and a sense of safety, but here lays the danger. A focus on orthodoxy (the “tenants”) will often pull us away from what’s most important: the Spirit working in our hearts, the person of Jesus, and His emphasis on loving God and our neighbors. A wise person once told me that if you are always comfortable with your theology and what you read in the Bible, you are self deceived. We are so unlike God… if we don’t feel struggle and tension, we are missing something, we have formed God in our image.

    In Unity, Freedom, Charity I noted that Christians should unify around what is essential and not use differences in the non essentials to separate ourselves from others. In that post I suggested that an essential Christian theology could be defined by something as simple of the Apostles or Nicene Creed but I am now questioning that these creeds, which are minimalist orthodoxy, will be as useful as I hoped.

    On a trip to Yosemite, my friend David raised an interesting question:

    If you took the beliefs of everyone you know who seems to have a real relationship with Jesus as evidenced by their lives (James 2), what is the intersection of their beliefs?

    David went on to suggest that it would be the null set.  He doesn’t actually believe that, but was taking an extreme position to force me to think. I said surely there would be something, like the Apostle’s creed. David asked me if everyone I thought had a real relationship with Jesus fully embraced the Apostle’s Creed. I realized that there were several people who didn’t. I was reminded of the phrase “People who are saved in spite of their doctrine rather than due to it”.

    What is essential? Before Jesus there were many people of faith who  didn’t know truths contained in the Apostle’s creed yet are held up as examples of faith (Hebrews 11). When asked about faith, the answers Jesus gave failed to include key elements of the Apostle’s creed: Luke 23:39-43, John 3, Mark 1:15, Matthew 22:37-40, Matthew 7:21, John 14:15. Likewise later statements of faith: Acts 16:30-31, Romans 10:9 are rather minimalist. It seems to me that there are just three core elements of an authentic faith which are relational in nature:

    1. Help – I am lost without God
    2. Thanks – God provided when I turned toward Him
    3. Yes – I will follow you

    When I think about Jesus’ life, I don’t see a focus on theology, I see a focus on responding to God and to loving others. While overly simplistic, the WWJD campaign got something really right by using the word “do” rather than “believe”. I appreciate an observation made by John Mark Comer in the book Practicing the Way:

    If a person’s vision of God is distorted… the more religious they become, the worse they become. 

    Orthodoxy provides guardrails to keep us from going too far off track in our beliefs, but it does nothing to keep our heart and soul centered on God. Our goal should be to know Jesus, and for our lives to be transformed to be more like Him. We need to leave room for the Spirit to work, or we will find ourselves in dead orthodoxy and in the company of orthodox religious leaders who worked against Jesus.

    And without faith it is impossible to please him, for whoever would draw near to God must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who seek him.

    Hebrews 11:6 (ESV)

  • Model of Maturity

    The following is an integration of material from Life Model Works and what I have learn while coaching and mentoring people since the 1980s.

    TL;DR

    • We first learn about love from our families. These first lessons inform our attachment style and become a lens we interpret our interactions with others through.
    • We mature in love which starts with accepting love and can grow into us being able to give love to people who are outside our family and even community.
    • A significant part of maturing is learning to manage our emotions which is different from controlling our emotions. This allow us to return to a healthy state.
    • The lack of people who modeled love and/or trauma retards growing in maturity until it is properly processed.
    • Classic “spiritual disciplines” are tools we use to grow and process life. These disciplines help us to turn our emotions into servants rather than our masters, and rewire or brains to have responses like Jesus.

    Love is the Measure and Goal

    We were made by God to experience love in the context of relationships. A concise definition of this sort of Godly love is:

    willing good toward someone else, independent of what you get in return

    This type of love is a verb and requires us to make choices and take actions.  This is a love that is offered with no expectation of a response or reciprocation.  

    The most important task set before each of us by God is learning how to love. Our ability and willingness to love others is the best measure of our maturity.

    Attachments

    God provided parents, marriage, the family to make love concrete. Our relationship with our parents is the first, and often the strongest influence of our understanding of what love is.  These early experiences frames our understanding of love which is called our attachments style. 

    Attachment theory postulates that there are four common patterns for this parent / child interaction. The attachment style we learned from our parent will affect how we form attachments with people and with God later in life. A healthy attachment allows us to take risks.

    ATTACHMENT STYLESParent Unable to LoveParent Able to Love
    Child feels Worthy of LoveDismissive-Avoidant: Often maintain some distance from their partners. They may feel that they don’t need close relationships and can be self-sufficient. They often seek independence and can appear to avoid attachment altogether.
    		Secure (Healthy): Comfortable with emotional closeness and are also able to depend on others and have others depend on them. In relationships, they are generally honest, open, and equal, with a balance of giving and receiving.
    Child feels Unworthy of LoveFearful-Avoidant/Disorganized: Desire emotional closeness but tend to feel uncomfortable with emotional intimacy. They often struggle to trust others and to depend on them, fearing being hurt if they allow themselves to become too close.Anxious-Preoccupied: Seek high levels of intimacy, approval, and responsiveness from their partners. They can be overly dependent on their relationships for their self-esteem. They often worry about their partner’s willingness to love them and are generally insecure about their relationships.

    It’s important to note that people are not stuck in any particular attachment style.  It is possible for people to learn to have healthy attachments. Indeed, learning to have healthy attachments is a key aspect of growing into maturity.

    Stages of Development

    Maturing in love starts with accepting love and ends with us being able to give love to people who we have no connection to.  There is a natural progression for people with a healthy / secure attachments. This progression can be broken into stages that are built on top of each other. To truly mature requires developing the skills in each stage before progressing to the next stage.

    • Infant: Learning to receive care and comfort
    • Child: Able to ask for what’s needed. Able to self care.  Learn to work hard. Learning to return to joy from negative emotions
    • Adult: Both centered. Act as yourself and return to joy, and take responsibility for one’s actions
    • Parent: Able to give without looking for anything in return. Nurture your children and help them return to joy
    • Elder: Be a parent to the community. Will adopt those without family.

    Emotional Regulation

    It’s worth noting that healthy attachment requires experiencing separation and cycles of disappointment followed by repair.

    No one can “control” their emotions. Emotions are unconscious and can’t be directly controlled. There is no healthy way to “stop feeling” emotions. That said, it’s possible, in fact healthy, to choose how we respond to our emotions.

    While we can’t control our emotions, a significant part of maturing is learning to manage our emotions which allow us to return to a healthy state, much like an immune system fights off an infection. I like to say our emotions are like the sensors on a car. When emotions rise up it’s a signal saying “There is something you should notice”. Often it means something needs attention. Sometimes it’s an overly sensitive detector. As we mature and make good decisions we are able to down/up regulate our emotions. To see a bit of joy and fan it into something big. To feel a bit of anger, recognize that we are misinterpreting a situation and calm down. In most case, pausing for 30 second to a few minutes before responding to a strong emotion is a good idea.

    Road Blocks to Maturity

    Deprivation

    The lack of healthy attachment (deprivation) will result in a person failing to go through this progression which makes it impossible for them to mature in love. Before a person who has experience deprivation can move forward, they need to experience what they were deprived of. For many, this is experiencing unconditional love. This doesn’t have to be someone who is a “parent” to them. It can come from being a part of a healthy community where the members take care of each other.

    Trauma

    Trauma retards our maturity until it is properly processed.  People often partition off trauma which lets them cope in the moment but causes problems in the future.  Trauma reduces our ability to learn because we are avoiding looking at the issue. Overcoming trauma requires being able to clearly clearly see and grieve over the trauma, and then move forward.

    Overcoming Roadblocks

    The solution, no matter the age of a person, is to develop relationships with people who can form healthy attachments, and then to progressively develop these skills. People can’t progress unless they are in the context of a health community. Thankfully, people who are chronologically adults with extensive life experience can develop skills in months to a year that take a younger individual years to develop.

    Spiritual disciples are the tools we use to grow and process life. These disciplines help us to turn our emotions into servants rather than our masters.

    Additional Material

    Related

    • Who We Are, How We Change
    • Embodiment
    • Essentials of Community

  • Recommended Churches

    The following is my highly opinionated list of churches that I would recommend (or than are on my list to check out at some point). I have a separate post above how to find the right church for you.

    Silicon Valley

    • Abundant Life Christian Fellowship~ In the 1990s was an amazing dynamic, multi-cultural church that was located in East Palo Alto bring together people from many cultures, backgrounds, and economic situations. They were rocked by several scandals (resulting in leaders departing). They engaged a number of experienced pastors to get their footing back but have not returned to their “glory days”.
    • Menlo – Multi-site mega presbyterian. Lots of resources and programs which can be helpful such as Divorce recovery. They tend to use staff rather than empowering members which can hurt community. Side by Side on the Menlo Campus is a good multi-generational group which encourages everyone to use their gifting.
    • New Beginnings Community Church – A dynamic, multi-cultural church. Seems to have taken the mantle that Abundant Life used to carry.
    • New Community Church – Menlo’s first experiment with multi-campus was called Cafe. Originally formed to provide space in the main sanctuary, it became a place that people attended who had trouble connecting at the main Menlo service.  Cafe was closed, but many of the people who made it a welcoming community are now at NCC, including the original pastor for Cafe.
    • Peninsula Bible Church, PBC Cupertino – Classic Bible churches. Expository teaching, small group inductive bible studies.  Has a very good recovery ministry and a good young adults fellowship.
    • Peninsula Covenant – A modern parish church. Takes serving Redwood City seriously.  Deep commitment to serve and be involved in the locale.
    • Spark – Spark is a safe place for people who feel the need to deconstruct their faith. The church was formed by some gifted people who were burned out in local mega churches are were looking to build a safe place for them and others to recover. Encourages people to ask hard questions and is comfortable with no easy answers. Deep appreciation of the Old Testament and has a great relationship with a local Jewish congregation. One down side is that due to people recovering from past wounds people aren’t always good at engaging with new people. You will need to work to get connected.

    Churches I have had a bit of interaction with that seemed good: Vive Mountain View, West Hills Community Church, Westgate Church, Bridges Church, Los Gatos Christian Church, Calvary Church

    San Francisco

    • Reality SF – Popular with genX,Y,Z. Excellent teaching, good community life.
    • cornerstone sf – multi-generational, multi-ethic missional church.
    • Epic SF – Have heard it’s a good church but no personal experience.
    • Experience Church – Have friend who highly recommends it
    • We Are Church – Micro church movement started by Francis Chan focused on under served neighborhoods.

    Parachurch in Bay Area

    • Western Seminary – has an extension programs in this area.
    • Wellspring – offers retreats and seminars on topics related to spiritual formation.
    • Bible Study Fellowship – Often in-depth studies of the Bible. Hosted by several local churches.
    • Mercy Center – Spiritual formation from a catholic perspective. You don’t need to be catholic. They have trained many of the Protestant spiritual directors in the Bay Area.
    • Transform the Bay – Connects areas leaders to see the bay areas transformed by Jesus.
    • Volunteer Info Center – has links to most of the organizations which operate in the bay area.

    Portland, OR

    • Bridgetown: Contemplative meets the charismatic streams with strong community groups. An amazing church for many who are looking for a framework for a life following Jesus. Downside is that if you don’t fit into their framework you are going to feel like you are on the outside. You are “welcomed”, but not really enfolded into the community.
    • The Well Church: Strong Missions program. Very welcoming.
    • Imago Dei Community: Deeply integrate social justice with faith
    • Cedarmill Bible Church: Classic Bible church.
    • Sonrise: Baptist church which has a long history of sacrificial giving and supporting church planting.

    Taipei, TW

    English speaking congregations.

    Other Locations

    Church I have spent time with or churches strongly recommended by good friends who I trust

    • Dwell Community Church Columbus, OH. The church that I came to faith at. Very strong teaching the scripture, deep community, and encourages all to grow and serve. Downside is some parts of the church can be overly controlling.
    • Vineyard Columbus Columbus, OH. The largest Vineyard church? Strong biblical teaching combined with leaving room for the Spirit to work and lead. Dwell and Vineyard Columbus have common roots / influences, but Vineyard leaves more room for the Spirit to work.
    • From people at Bridgetown
      • Oregon – Saint’s Hill (Newberg), Riverbend (Bend), 26 West (Hillsboro)
      • Washington – Van City (Vancouver), Rivers Edge (Spokane)
      • California – Reality San Francisco, Park Hill Church (San Diego), Garden Church (Long Beach), Vintage Church LA, Genesis (Costa Mesa)
      • Massachusetts – The Table (Boston)
      • North Carolina – Emmaus (Raleigh)
      • New York – Oaks Church Brooklyn, Church of the City (Manhattan), New Life Fellowship (Queens)
      • U.K. – KXC (Kings Cross Church, London)
      • Australia – Red Church Melbourne
    • Santa Rosa Christian Church Santa Rosa, CA. Classic Bible church which seems to have avoided falling into a judgement / overly religious.
    • Northshore Church Kirkland, OR. Big church that is welcoming with solid preaching.
    • The Austin Stone Community Church Austin, TX. Very strong community groups and support of missions.
    • Upperroom Church Dallas, TX
    • Journey Church  in Bend. Focused on gracious engagement and leading with love while holding to a conservative biblical theology.
    • Redeemer in NYC: Started by Tim Keller. Excellent teaching, strong engagement with culture.

  • How to Find the “Right” Church for You

    There are numerous reasons why you might be looking for a church. You could be being a journey to explore the Christian faith. You might have recently moved, or maybe you are dissatisfied with the church you previously attended. Whatever the reason you are looking for a church, I would encourage to devote yourself to the search and then commit to the best church you find. God’s wants you to be involved in a local church: to build a community of love where you can be cared for, and where you can be serving others.

    Finding a new church can be very challenging. There are no perfect church so there will always be trade-offs. If you feel completely lost and don’t have anyone to help you, drop me mail and I will reach out to my personal network to try and help.

    In older times people didn’t choose a church. Geography determined what church you attended. The parish church was responsible for the spiritual needs of an area. The good thing about this was that you saw the people from your church everyday and could do “Life together”. The bad thing  was when you didn’t get along / agree with the church you didn’t have an alternative. The lack of choice could be good because growth often comes through conflict.

    Today, most people have the freedom to choose what church they will attend. It’s easy to approach selecting a church like a consumer, with a list of attributes that are desires such as worship style, a particular set of doctrines, a particular governance, and/or a specific program.

    I would encourage people to think  like an investor. Look for the place that God is calling you to serve. I Cor 12 and 14 talk about how we each have something to offer. Our lives, the church, and the world we live in is poorer when everyone doesn’t share what God has given them.

    Discovering Churches

    The first step in to find your church is to discover what are possible churches. In many locations there are more churches to consider than you would have time to explore. This means you need to find a way to narrow down the choices. In my experience, typical review sites like yelp, google, etc are not useful at all. There are several approaches that will improve the odds that you will find a church that is good for you.

    Personal Referals

    I have found a good starting point is asking people you know in the area for a recommendation. The person you ask should either know you well, or know the sort of church which has been a positive influence in your life. 

    If I don’t know someone in the area I am looking for a church, I will ask my trusted friends if there is anyone they know in the location I am looking in who could suggest a good church.

    My list of recommended churches.

    Known Associates, Denominations, Programs

    Typically churches which are part of an associate or denomination have agreed to a common set of doctrines and practices. If you have appreciated a church that is part of one of these orginizations,  you odds go up in finding a like minding program.

    • Denominations which have strong cultures will produce churches that share many characteristics.
    • Church networks like the salt company
    • Church associations which churches join will typically indicates some of the core values of the church.
    • National or International programs which churches might host / sponsor / participate in that indicate something about a churches values.
    • Parachurch organizations such as IVCF often produce a curated list of churches that they recommend to their members.

    Identify What’s Right for Your Now

    There are plenty of good reasons to change the church we attend. It could be that we have moved or have constrains which make our old church unworkable. It could be tha as you have grown and changes the church isn’t able to support you, or that your  unique gifting might be most benefital to a different church. 

    Take some time to consider what you are looking for in a church. Don’t default to whatever is familur or comfortable. The “right” church for each of us will likely change as we growth and experiece different seasons of life. For example, some churches have an immersive community which is great for a college student or young adult, but is unsustainable for working parents of small children.

    Churches, like people typically have strengths and weaknesses. If your strength and weaknesses are the same as the church you previously attended,  it might be benefical to be at a church were your strengths help fill their weak spots, and where their strengths can help you strengthen where you are weak.

    One word of caution. You might be attending a church that you are disatisfied with. It may be that God is calling you somewhere new… but please don’t take changing churches lightly. Be sure you aren’t running away from something God wants you to work through. If you are changing churches every year or so, the problem is likely you, not the church.

    Preview Churches

    Odds are there are several churches which pop up as “possible” churches for you to attend. One approach is to just start attending, and see where that takes you. This is perfectly reasonable approach. There is a lot you can learm when you attend a church that you can’t pick up on from written material or online resources.

    Churches “About Us”

    Most churches will have an “About Us” section on their webpage. This will include information about their leadership, beliefs, and whatever else the church wants people to know. Churches should be reasonably trasparent about money, so I would like to see something about what they are doing with the money they collect such as a summary of their budget.

    For me, this information will typically not draw me to a church, but might throw a “red flag”, issues that are concerning which I would want to investigate in person.

    Church Sermons

    Most churches put their sermons online. Sidenote: some of my favorite sermons / podcasts. I find listening to how the church teaches the parable of prodigal gives me more insight into a church than reading it’s statement of faith or “principles”. Here is my rating system:

    1. Only talks about the prodigal son that leaves home for a sinful life who then returns home to his father. They are likely “religious” and judgmental. Completely uninterested in visiting.
    2. Talks about the prodigal sons, pointing out that the older son has as many issues as the younger son. They have likely been exposed to Tim Keller or Henri Nouwen writings. This sermon doesn’t draw me nor repel me.
    3. Talks about how the older son is the primary focus… the parable is asking “Will you celebrate/repent?”. Likely read Ken Bailey’s writings. Suggests that they are aware that church people tend toward being overly religious. Hopefully a place that not just teaches, but practices grace.
    4. The focus is on the Father’s heart. The party is for the Father, not the sons. Ah, they really understand!

    Evaluating A Church

    This is a huge topic which I will have to write up later.  The things that are most important to me are captured in my post about church essentials.   To summarize:

    • God is the head, not human leaders
    • Everyone is important and has a role
    • Love, not religious judgement

    Take Your Time

    I generally recommend not to choose the first church you visit without visiting a few churches. I would encourage spending a few weeks at several different churches. Take to members. Attend a “welcome” or “orientation” meeting. If there isn’t one, request a meeting with someone from the church leadership who will spend time sharing their vision for the church and whom you could discuss the best way to get involved.

    There are times when it’s clear to be a church is good, but not what is right for me in this season of life.  In those cases I will note things that are great about them and then indicate I am looking for something a bit different. I will share what I am looking for. Mature leaders will respect your candor (and hopefully your encouraging words) and be able to suggest a church that could be a good match.

  • Bema Seat Judgement

    The Bible talks about a judgement that people who know Jesus will undergo (Romans 14:10, 2 Corinthians 5:10, etc). This is often called the Bema seat judgement.

    I didn’t look forward to this judgement.  It sounds like a…. Judgement.  My expectation is that this would be a lot like the performance reviews have I received at work. Commended for the things I already knew I had done well, critiqued for failures I was very aware of and regret. There would be a few minor surprises, likely critiques, but maybe wins.

    I was never able to fully reconcile my experience with performance reviews and what the Bible describes as an era where no more tears would be shed (Rev 7:17, 21:4). Then I saw a one man show that changed my perspective and makes me look forward to this coming “judgement”.

    Imagine a huge stadium that has all of the people who follow Jesus assembled. In the middle of the stadium is Jesus on His throne.  He calls the first person down. They come down, a bit nervous of what is going to be revealed.

    Jesus asks:

    Do you know what you did?

    The person called down gulps and answers:

    I am not sure?

    Jesus then explains how the person blessed and impacted others.  As Jesus described what was accomplished, the crowd cheers, but even better the people whose lives were touched stand up in the stadium and shout

    That was me!!  Thank you so much!

    Often the person had no idea that what seemed like little acts on their part were life giving to others . Once Jesus finished telling the person all that was accomplished through them he calls up someone, likely someone the first person touched, and the process continues.

    The first individual gets to see not only how their life touch people in ways they didn’t realized, but that there were even more people touched through downstream.

    I look forward to learning how simple acts of love had ripple effects through many people’s lives.

    For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ, so that each one may receive what is due for what he has done in the body, whether good or evil.

    2 Corinthians 5:10 (ESV)